Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Coincidence and Confirmation

I've taken a bit of a break from this blog in order to get my "other" blog project-- the Page of Possibility -- up and running. Also, I've had to put the next YouTube video on hold until my cameraman gets back from Thanksgiving vacationing. So not too many Buffy stories in the past week or two, but boy do I have a story for you...

This week and last, I've been working on a multiple-day shoot for Grey's Anatomy in which I play a "Resident Doctor", which means I don't get any lines, but I do get to wear a white lab coat on top of the normal periwinkle scrubs. (Evolution in wardrobe; very exciting.) I bolted to set yesterday morning after having accidentally mistaken my call time for six minutes later than it actually was. In the hurry and flurry, I was overwhelmed by the sensory stimulation of bright lights, fancy equipment, hustling crew members and bustling TV stars. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a white guy with dark features who looked vaguely familiar. I know him from somewhere, but not from here... yes, in fact, I know him very well... is that... could it be... Holy crap, it's Adam Busch!

It was all I could do not to laugh out loud. Think of all the extremely awkward things I could say to him! I could gush about Buffy; quote some lyrics from his band; or best of all, walk right up to him and say, "Hey, you probably don't remember me, but I wrote you a love song!" I knew that would be wrong in so many ways, and honestly I didn't feel the need. I kept my cool until later in the morning when our paths conveniently crossed between shots. "I know you from The Thrilling Adventure Hour," I said. His face lit up. It was like I told him the secret code. Even though he was a recurring and I was background, we were suddenly on even turf. He told me he had checked out my songs, and I told him I had one for him in the works. We exchanged various bits of smalltalk throughout the day, along with the occasional silly face or random shoulder bump.

I found the story of seeing Adam so amusing that I told a handful of people on set, including a hair guy named Maynard Matthews. He said, "Coincidences are a confirmation that you are doing the right thing." I really liked that idea. It made me feel reassured and even proud. After all, I had put in the work -- writing the song, recording the track, showing up to The Thrilling Adventure Hour to begin with, allowing myself to be inspired. Had I watched Buffy and never bothered to follow through with the project, yesterday would have turned out very differently. The conversation would've gone something like, "I'm a huuuge Buffy fan, I thought you should know," and him going, "Thanks," and both of us probably walking away feeling a bit awkward.

This is the irony and beauty of Ballads to the Buffy Big Bads. It is a fan piece, all a fan piece, nothing but a fan piece. But at the same time, it has made me feel like less of a fan girl and more of a peer. In writing these songs, in singing to these characters, I have found my own voice, which in turn allows me to speak with confidence and conviction among the people with whom I'd otherwise be panting, drooling, or speechless. I could've never expected this project to have taken me to the places it has -- both out in the world and inside myself.

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